Week Fifteen

I’m wearing my sunny day t-shirt (under my biggest fluffy jumper because it’s chilly despite the sunshine) with my oldest, comfiest jeans. I’m munching on Bitsa Wispa in an attempt to satisfy the sweet tooth I’ve woken up with. I’m smiling because sunny Sundays are my favourite thing and I’ve already had three cups of tea today.

This week’s been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been as scared as I was when I woke up Wednesday morning to take on one of my biggest challenges at work. One of my biggest challenges at work, in the midst of all the challenges going on outside of work. Understandably I think, I’d been feeling nauseous for days in the build up and I’ve never been so exhausted as when the day drew to a close. I tumbled into bed without even taking a moment to think about how things had gone.

When I woke up on Thursday, I was still tired and had made the mistake of scheduling in a working from home day, thinking I’d need time to unwind. Turns out, a whole day in on my own was not what I needed. I felt lost and sad and lonely and I knew Wednesday had gone well, but I couldn’t feel happy about it.

Friday, I was buzzing. A challenging week at work had been a huge success and after another night’s sleep I was actually feeling restored enough to enjoy it and let the pride kick in. I AM SO PROUD. It also helped that I was back in the office, surrounded by people, with a to do list as long as my arm.

Yesterday was a good day all in all. I was super excited about the fact Dave and I had no plans this weekend and I could do what I liked. We watched movies, I read my book. Late in the afternoon, Dave and I went to the shop to get some beers in time for the football and then… I spent a good chunk of the evening crying my heart out! Just like that, it came out of nowhere and Dave and I ended up on a late night walk talking everything through. I went to sleep still trying to process everything and then I woke up this morning to find life didn’t seem nearly as bad again and cooked a fry-up with a massive smile on my face.

All of that said, perhaps emotional roller-coaster doesn’t quite cover it!?

Today I genuinely feel fine. I’m looking forward to date night with Dave tonight. We’re off to see Captain Marvel and we’ll probably grab dinner first. Where we’re going for dinner is yet to be decided. Best get our thinking caps on now or we’ll be overwhelmed by the choice later.

So relieved that we’re on the approach to the next bank holiday of the year. A couple of four day weeks in a row sounds like just the thing to me.

Life’s been full of challenges recently. I’ve been taking on new things at work. I’ve been out of my comfort zone in every day life. I’ve been rocking up to hen dos and birthday celebrations without knowing what to expect or who’s going to be attending, making new friends along the way. I’ve been making big decisions, talking about adult stuff like mortgages and my career…

I feel stronger and more terrified all at once, every day. And I feel more grateful every day. Grateful most of all for the amazing people in my life who give me the confidence I need to get up and at ’em, whatever the new day might bring.

Bring on the cherry blossom

I’m a winter girl through and through but my goodness am I ready for spring now. I’m so excited. No can do though apparently. Have you heard the ‘Beast from the East’ returns this weekend? Please no!

The Beast from the East! The last time I wrote, it hadn’t even hit us just yet! I’ve always loved snow. I couldn’t have hated it more by the end of that week. It’s not really the snow itself. I don’t mind trudging through it or sticking on the extra layers. It’s the fact that when it snows in the United Kingdom, the United Kingdom grinds to a halt. So many plans cancelled. So many journeys disrupted.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom though…

Friday night, at the tail end of this traumatic week, it was still snowing. I hated knowing I couldn’t go out even if I wanted to. I couldn’t stop thinking about that dinner and cinema trip that never happened, the shopping spree never had, the girl’s spa weekend that we’d had to call off! So, when two crazy friends of mine booked a cab and told me they were off out into town for drinks despite the weather, I couldn’t resist. SNOW, WHAT SNOW!? Yeah! Stuff you snow! The snow certainly didn’t stop us from having a truly FAB evening and I’m so glad we went.

The snow may have called off the spa trip that me and some of my friends had planned, but we weren’t letting that ruin our weekend either. We gathered together armed with face masks, olives, chips and dips, prosecco and comfy pants and we had a lovely time together anyway.

Sunday morning the snow was gone. I was so unbelievably happy. It’s been over a week since that glorious day.

I have since watched the last episode of Friends. Yep, I’d never seen the last episode of Friends before. Yes, Dave and I did buy the box set when we moved into the flat and have just now finished watching it chronologically from start to finish. Yes, I did sob into my glass of red wine for the entirety of the episode which, by the way, couldn’t have been more perfect.

I’ve started reading George Saunders’ Lincoln in the Bardo’ and I’m a massive fan already. It won the Man Booker Prize in 2017 and yet, I’ve seen surprisingly varied reviews. Personally, I’m not surprised it won the award. I’m currently on team 5 star. I’m only half way through, so this may not be my final verdict but so far I find it to be imaginative, captivating and absolutely bonkers, in a great way.

2018 is flying by, but it really has been a good’un so far. With more exciting plans on the horizon I’m feeling positive.

I simply have to finish by paying tribute to the incredible man that was Stephen Hawking. I’ve seen so many different Hawking quotes used to pay tribute to him today and seen so many people trying to sum up his magnificence. I think the best way we can all pay tribute to him is by letting the life he led serve as inspiration to us all: To live life to the full and to never give up. R.I.P Stephen Hawking.