I’ve always been more than happy to natter away openly about my anxiety and the challenges I am facing but the problem with writing a personal blog is that there is often stuff that happens in life that it’s not your place to share with the whole world wide web.
When I wrote at the end of Week Four, I remember working away for ages to come up with a way of explaining, nonchalantly, why January had gone by without a peep from me and why my new years’ resolutions had gone down the drain. There was a lot going on that I couldn’t share, but this blog has always been open and honest and I didn’t feel like acting like everything was okay. I explained that January had been a bit of a write off and I was feeling drained, but didn’t give much away other than that. I can’t really say anymore than that even now.
February has been equally challenging and although I can’t share any specifics, I hope knowing that will help you to understand why I am feeling so grateful today. Grateful for all of the amazing people in my life. Grateful for sunshine and for good food. Grateful for my home and for my job too. Grateful for the fact that things might just be looking up.
Monday morning I rolled over to grab the tv remote, turned on the news and snoozed for ten minutes. I rolled out of bed and into the shower. I didn’t have time for a cuppa (because of the snooze – so worth it on a Monday morning) and I headed straight to the station once I was showered and dressed.
Pause there – I have to mention the weather. The weather in England, was unheard of at the start of this week. In England, for three days it was t shirt weather. It was unseasonably warm and bright and sunny. The daffodils came out and everything.
Monday night, I got home, Dave and I cooked dinner together and then we watched TV until I fell asleep on him and had to go to bed.
Tuesday evening I met one of my best friends for dinner and we chatted away about books and music and exciting upcoming events (including one of our best friends’ wedding, eek!). My Gourmet Burger Kitchen burger was amazing and I journeyed home with my head in my book and smile on my face.
Wednesday was a normal working from home day. I did two loads of washing. I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen on my lunch break. I was in my element with the sun shining and the windows open and music playing. Another bud on the orchid that I have successfully grown, flowered beautifully. (Yes, I have successfully gotten an orchid to flower! Am I a real life adult now?) I played piano before dinner and then Dave and I cooked steaks and watched Oceans 8.
Thursday evening I met my sister for dinner which was super lovely. We had the best of evenings and I hope we’ll meet for dinner like that more often from now on. Sister time is golden.
Dave and I stayed at our friends’ on Friday night. They’re the best hosts ever and it was super chilled and super fun.
Saturday afternoon, once Dave and I were home, we just chillaxed. I read and snoozed on the sofa. We had chilli for dinner. We watched Goodfellas, which I totally agree is one of the best films ever. We drank wine and didn’t clock watch. I love not having to watch the clock on Friday and Saturday nights!
Right now, I’m sat on the sofa trying and failing to eat hula hoops, because I’ve put a face mask on and it’s dried too much for me to open my mouth. I woke up with a tummy full of butterflies and I felt like my head might explode. But I knew exactly what I had to do: I opened up the notes app on my phone and titled the note ‘Things that are stressing me out’. Then I wrote everything down until I felt better. I had a chat with my Dad which cheered me up no end. (Shout out to my Dad!). And now I’m committed to an afternoon of relaxation to make sure the butterflies are behind me.
I’ve come to the realisation that normality is underrated. This week was just a normal week really and it’s left me feeling super refreshed. Routine is not to be taken for granted. Hopefully, come tomorrow morning, I’ll be ready for another normal week in the life of Bronwen.
I’m so glad March has come around. Spring in on the way and things can only get better.